Regula has been telling me about Eric Small, an Iyengar yoga teacher in his 70s that was diagnosed with MS back in the 50s. His website refers to his teacher trainings, which Regula has talked about going to, but the dates there are for 2006. Today, when searching the web for more information, we found this page by Roger Nolan, Yoga Therapy and Multiple Sclerosis, who apparently works with people with MS as well. Maybe Roger is someone for Regula to talk with about developing her own practice with folks with MS. In fact, a little more digging yielded this by Roger: Yoga for MS. Interesting person!
By the way, I wanted to share a surreal image that I saw on Monday during this procedure. Regula was sitting in a chair with John Neighbors standing over her, placing herbs on her head and lighting them with a cigarette lighter. I was sitting in a chair next to Regula, but facing her. After John would light 4 piles of herbs, he’d move away and I was looking at her profile from below, in such a way that I could not see the herbs, but I could see the smoke rising from her head! She’s on fire! Over and over and over again. Wild.
Hello everyone,
Some time has past since I last wrote to you. I kind of scared some of you, but some of you really connected from your own life story with me, and that was beautiful.
As some of you know, this past Monday I had a brain intervention. This was done in a acupuncture clinic and the method of the intervention was assigned by Dr. Sun Beck, a physician who grew up in Tibetan monastery where he learned aoubt acupuncture, herbology and chi gong. It was him that designed this brain treatment for MS. It was done then by a master teacher in Evanston who is a friend of mine, and has been helping me for the last 15 years, John Neighbors.
The treatment started at 9am and was supposed to last 5 hours. In the treatment plan, 1500 pyramid-shaped piles of herbs (moxa) were burned on 5 points of my skull, relating to the elements. We started with metal, burned 300 there. I was able to use my yoga breathing to make it through those 300, and had incredible experiences of energy/heat being pushed through the folds of my brain (I call them worms). I experienced the opening of those folds and it was quite colorful.
As we then moved on to the other 4 points, since the first one took 5 hours, John Neighbors lit all 4 points at the same time. There was no chance I could follow the experience through my brain, because it was sooooo painful. When I “hissed like cobra” John made smaller pyramids, and I had a relief for 3 or 4 rounds. Sometimes I thought I wouldn’t make it, because it was just too painful.
I had gone through days before the treatment of knowing I wanted and needed to do this, linked to fear. I didn’t know how I would make it through 5 hours of sitting, if I had to pee! Yes, I did end up buying Depends for that day. But the sphincter muscles, during the treatment, actually contracted, so I didn’t need to depend on Depends.
The last 80 rounds of burning, I asked my partner Ted (who was there throughout), not to count up anymore, please, so he started to count down from 80. What a relief! And during those 80, my first thought was, I shall reach 80 years old in this life. I had always thought I’d die before that since my parents both passed on younger. And every number thereafter was a revalation of where I would be at that age in time. When I came to 47, my present age, I felt like I was reborn, and could count down from then on, letting go of all that had happened in my life, from bad relationships, to my own anger and resentments and jealousies, that I have housed in my brain. When I came to 19, when MS started for me, I felt I could let go of a bad dream. From then on, all I was thinking about was that I would be coming back to teh state of a brain of a baby, untainted. And that I would never, ever, let anyone walk on my brain again, abuse me, control me.
I was so tired when the treatment ended at 7pm that I fell right into bed, fell to sleep, but when I woke up I felt a lot of energy. My walking, my gait had normalized 100%. Many things felt better. The day after, I was teaching one class, and fell into deep sleep thereafter. So the recovery is now also one of a baby having learning to walk and then being dead tired from teh exertion of being alive.
much love and joy,
Regula
PS from Ted: The bathroom is down a long hallway from the acupuncture studio in this particular office, and the first break we took, Regula needed my help quite a bit, to even make the trip. Throughout the day, however, every time we made that walk, Regula needed my help less and less. By the end, before than last 80, I could hardly keep up with her, walking down that hallway. I’ve never experienced her walking quite so quickly before. Today we walked to lunch, to a place we often walk to. And again, sometimes it was hard to keep up with her.
Yes, in many ways, I experienced this burning of herbs on her head as quite surreal. “What the fuck is this?” I thought. And yet, the results speak for themselves.
As many of you know, I have been having MS for 28 years. It’s only now that I’m in a place of acceptance and talking about it and know deeply in my heart that I will find a way, but it’s not on my own. I have made due with herbs, accupuncture and functional integration. Though it seems still to work, I know that it’s only band-aids, and not the deep internal work and process that I need to do.
One day ago, I met my acupuncturist and it was the first time that he suggested, for my last exacerbation, chemotherapy. I had heard about it before, from my doctor from Evanston Hospital, but I always thought there was no way I was ever going to do aything like that. Because the acupuncturist is a friend of mine, and has helped me a lot, I could not only listen, I could filter it from my head into my heart, and I am certain if Dr. Sung Beck (MD and acupuncturist, and my acupuncture’s teacher) from Seattle supervises the treatment, I need to do it.
I foresee a letting go, and a welcoming of something new. Perhaps you have yourself, or family or friends, who went through things like this in their life, or are going through things like this. I appreciate any communication.
I feel so lucky that I’m not alone. For the first time in my life, I have somebody with me (Ted) whom you perhaps know, who is there for me, helps me a lot, and is involved in all that is happening. I have other friends who I am not shy to talk to, to communicate, which is quite new for me.
Love,
Regula
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