Don’t Believe Everything They Say

I had been burning for 6 weeks and had come to the realization that my pinky finger is not my thumb.  Dr. Baek had actually asked me to burn the size of my pinky finger.  Well, sure, if I burned my thumb size, my system did get overwhelmed, bleeding, bleeding, bleeding.  In hindsight, I realize that this bleeding was a cleansing, and Dr. Nabors agreed with me on that.  It was a cleansing of the uteral wall, and quite different from a normal period.  There were more tissues of blood that got passed and I wonder or know that these tissues would have developed in the uteral wall into fibroids.  Well now, ever so thankful that I cleansed that uteral wall.

Its been 6 weeks and I really started to enjoy burning my dantien (2nd chakra, 4 fingers before the belly button, see the picture of me burning), storing the energy to regrow the nerves.  When Dr. Nabors told me not to neglect the periferal nerves, the small points on my legs and my arms (I’ll post a picture of those as well), it inspired me to simply burn everything, everyday.  It took all in all, one hour per day.  Hey, what’s one hour?

My daughter Tanya had given me a book for the holidays that I had longed to buy myself: Why walk when you can fly? by Isha.  The title so resonated with me, but smilingly I said to myself that I really never walked, so I probably would say Why fly when I can walk?  In any case, this little book has become a powerful tool to use when I burn the big moxas on my dantien.  I keep repeating and repeating the “facets” (mantras) praise love for this moment in its perfection and thank love for my human experience in its perfection.  What a cool way to let pain soothe rather than become anxious or angry or irritated or just having to breathe hissing or screaming.

Guess what?  I got sick.  How can one get one sick when they are sick already?  No, I’m talking about that stupid stuff like a cold.  Ted and I went late on Monday night (nearly two weeks ago now) to Sam & Sarah’s engagement party.  Sarah had made a fresh pumpkin pie.  I had been pretty good with my diet, and I felt so good that I ate a piece of that pumpkin pie.  Sam was sick as a dog already.  Was it the germs of Sam?  Was it the pumpkin pie?  I ended up with an acute case of larengitis, with plenty of mucus in my lungs (I was diving in slime).  When I tried to burn during this time, I thought that I was going to die.  It was so painful.  I couldn’t even scream.  I couldn’t even breathe deeply.  It was a joke!  After 3 days of this ordeal, I stopped burning.  I went to see Dr. Nabors.  He said yeah, you have so much heat from this sickness and you’re putting more heat into your body.  Just stop.  I got in quite  a funk, because I really want to get well, and I really believe in the journey that I say yes to healing.  So, I was bothering myself with many thoughts like if I’ve got to live with MS, so be it.  If I cannot go to the Yoga Nidra workshop that I’ve spent so much money, so be it.  If, if, if.  Blah, blah, blah.  I’m better now.

On Sunday the 22nd, Ted took me to the Immediate care clinic.  I do not have health insurance, only Basic Blue, but knew that I needed some help.  They were very nice at the clinic.  Dr. Kohl prescribed antibiotics and cough syrup with codine.  I did not object. I needed it.  And I never take stuff like that.  But it really helped.

So, I will go to Yoga Nidra the first week of February, studying with Richard Miller, and sure will have to share plenty with you after this journey.  And guess what?  Dr. Nabors told me today that I can start burning again.  Hooray!  Just small ones though, for a week.  And then after that, the big ones again.  Yes, mamm, I’m totally ready for it.