Last time I wrote to all of you, I had completed my roto rooter. The experience of lightness in the brain, untainted lightness in the brain, lasted for a good two weeks. I could feel the scabs, and above the scabs, a ton of hair. I thought I would end up with a mohawk, and was not ready for that, so I decided to cut my hair, to manage the incoming hair. Yeah, I did feel lighter, when the half a foot of hair came off my body. Ted didn’t like it very much, but hey.
John Neighbors suggested when I got my next treatment, to see Dr. Baek, for a followup, to see where I am and what I need to do. Dr. Baek was the one that designed the 1500 burning treatment. I had mentioned Dr. Baek in my roto rooter story. I know now that Dr. Baek is a doctor from Korea. He has a PdD from Northwestern, but never got medically licensed in the US. John Neighbors gave me a phone number for Dr. Baek’s secretary, and told me that for the treatment it would cost about $325 for one treatment. I made arrangements to see Dr. Baek in July, and I did see him. Boy has this man changed, in the 15 years that I haven’t seen him. He used to be a stunning presence. He had aged, scrawny grey long hair.
Traveling to New Jersey to Dr. Baek’s retreat center, called Homo Sancto, I had a deep hesitance inside myself to see this man again, mainly because of all the stories I’d heard about him, which as a woman were very disturbing to me. I know though that he is a truly amazing human being who has reached a level of presence in the tangible world that is very rare. What I mean by presence is that one can be as connected with the reality of the tangible world as to the intangible world.
The first thing that I shared with Dr. Baek was that after the roto rooter brain treatment I had two severe panic attacks, as if the heat of the burnt herbs broke up frozen images in my brain, and I could not separate the past from the present. It was all just mixing and rolling around in my mind. These broken images had a lot to do with first chakra stuff: sex. I knew that my father’s polygamous life had impacted me, as well as my mother, but I never knew that it led to a deep-rooted panic in me. Dr. Baek said that this is what he does pick up in my pulses, but above the panic flows depression. What’s new, I thought. As if it’s just known to me and I had lived with it, not knowing that I could do something about it. I never felt compelled to go to a shrink or a psychologist because words, to me, are not the deepest level of communication.
Dr Baek perscribed me two herbs, one to take at night Serenadin for panic, and during the day an herb for depression: Leitzin (When I started taking Serenadin, I was so tired and relaxed that no sound disturbed my sleeping, even Ted’s snoring, and you don’t know how aggravated I had become hearing this little pig sound when near the moment of drifting off. I used to proclaim – seperate bedrooms!). I have known about these two herbs for over ten years, and self-prescribed them and used them. Dr. Baek was rather upset with me that I hadn’t wiped this thing (MS) out of my system yet. He says, you can do it within six months. You take these herbs, something for your hormones that are jumping around in you, and something for your bones. You need to get yourself on a strict regimin of 3 treatments (needles) per week. At first I thought, how does he know how many times I have broken my bones, and ended up with a bone tumor when I was 13? And how in the world would his #1 student not tell me that I can heal my MS, but that I have to do this regimen? John was standing right there, so I did not want to say this, to make him look bad.
It’s been a month and I have been taking the herbal anti-depressant and herbal anti-panic formulas. The hormones supplements I had been taking even before he told me and I’ve continued. It regulated my menstrual cycle, and low and behold, it made me grow into the woman I was meant to be, going from a 34B to a 36C. Okay. Everything grew. My weight changed. I would not say I’m fat, but I defintely am fuller. And I accept. Quite contrary to when I was young when I was fighting with womanhood with anorexia and bulimia.
I’m sitting here at Applebees in New Jersey, August 9th, 2008, with Ted. And soon enough, I’ll be under the hands of Dr. Baek again, 7pm appointment at the Homo Sanctus. So this will be my 2nd treatment with him. I promised myself that in my 5th treatment with Dr. Baek I will treat myslf to a reading. What I know about a reading is that Dr. Baek is well equipted to tell me when my MS started, where and how, how in my life in continued. It almost feels like a psychic reading, but it’s not a psychic reading. It’s just that the pulses will tell him where I have been and where I am now. It’s a good birthday present because it helps me to integrate this story, and let it go with a smile.
Until the next time, my friends,
Love, Regula
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